Chapter 6 Coming Out


I wasn’t looking to draw undue attention to my interests and kept my study and practicing with subtle mostly to myself, but the number of people who heard about my healing work or experienced it firsthand was growing, and one day I was invited to participate in a healing fair at the Unity Church. I was nervous about coming out publicly, but I sensed it was time. I didn’t know what would come of it, but I decided to get a little bigger about it. For me to be asked to contribute to a healing fair at a church felt a little like a higher power asking me to come out of a closet. I didn’t feel particularly confident about the work and was still full of questions, but I didn’t think it would be appropriate to say no. 

I thought for a few days about what to call what I was doing. Since I had been learning from many sources the way artists and musicians do, I decided to call it Healing Energy Arts, or HEARTS for short.

I printed a handful of cards on my printer and a couple of dozen trifold fliers and folded them neatly. It all looked good, but I still had butterflies about it. The appointed Saturday came, and I woke up before dawn and practiced qigong in the backyard at sunrise. I was dutifully reverent and felt very peaceful, and hoping for the best, I headed over to the church.

The part that made me most nervous was the prospect of doing my thing in the sanctuary where all these other healers would be doing their thing. It seemed it would be a bit chaotic, and I’d be self-conscious, and maybe my confidence would fly out the window. I’d never been to a healing fair. I’d been to a Renaissance Faire, but not a healing fair. I think images of the one were horning in on my imaginings of the other. I didn’t know what to expect. I was going to have to face the unknown.

At the church, people were setting up massage tables, and someone had a pyramid made of copper pipes, and it looked like crystals were coming out of the woodwork. I stood at the door to the sanctuary and was hesitant about going in.

About that time the minister walked by and said the prayer room was available, would I like to use that? Oh my, this was perfect. A small quiet place to myself, with a door I could close, and I could set up my music player with soft music! Perfect!

A couple of handwritten signs were taped up indicating what I was doing and where. A few chairs were set up outside the room, and soon the chairs were full and more chairs were brought over for others who were willing to wait. I kept sessions to about 15 minutes so I could help as many as I could in the course of the day. All in all, it went over rather well.

Something I learned firsthand on my first day out was that healthy people would usually have a lot of energy in their auras. One way to get a feel for an inner aura is by slowly bringing your outstretched hand from some distance away from the body to within a few inches of it. A healthy inner aura might extend three to ten inches from the body. It can feel like your hand bumped into some thicker air when you feel it. 

While the inner aura might extend three to ten inches from the skin, a healthy person’s outer aura might extend three feet out from the body, and it’s much less dense and you need to become a little more sensitive to subtle energy to feel it. However, with a little practice, it’s not that hard to do. I’ve instructed groups of people on how to feel the aura and they all got it right away without any trouble at all.

On the other hand, sick people and people who don’t get much exercise or who don’t eat healthy food may have very weak auras. Sometimes it can be difficult to sense their aura at all, and it makes it that much more difficult to work on them. I came to understand it’s not just the energy I’m bringing to the session, but the energy of the person being worked on as well that accounts for a positive outcome.

In the small prayer room with soothing music playing softly in the background, I’d have the person I was to work on stand up while I scanned to feel their aura. I held my outstretched right hand to my side and slowly sweep it in a wide arc toward their body. When I felt the boundary of their outer aura I’d make a mental note of it and back up and check again. Then I’d sweep further in until I found their inner aura. 

Going about the start of a session like this did a couple of things. It set the tone of what I’d be doing, of feeling energy without touching. It gave me a sense of the strength of their aura, which let me calibrate to the person. If the person had an energetic aura they’d be more likely to be able to feel the energy work and could more easily follow along with me as I worked, and I’d be able to move quicker and feel things in the aura faster. If they had a weak aura they were less likely to feel the energy as I worked on them and I’d have to go much slower.

After sensing the boundary of the outer and inner auras, we’d both sit down in chairs facing one another, almost knee to knee and I’d explain what I was doing as I proceeded. These were short sessions so I had to move quickly and focus on what I felt would be most productive. 

I found it was advantageous to focus first on the energy centers in the palms of the hands. I’d ask the person I was working on to rest their hands, palms upward on their legs near the knees and before going further I’d tell them that at this stage of my learning I’ve come to understand that we have energy centers, sometimes called chakras. Many people have heard of seven chakras, but there are many others, and there are pathways throughout the body that subtle energy flows through.

I let them know that it is my current understanding that the energy in chakras moves or spins back and forth, clockwise and counterclockwise. When they move in one direction they appear to take energy in, and when they move in the opposite direction they appear to release energy, sort of like breathing in and out. I told them that sometimes the energy centers can get clogged up like a stuffy nose or an air filter that needs cleaning. And once they are cleaned out the energy can move much better and the body can heal itself quickly.

I’d take one of their hands in my left hand and proceed while explaining that energy from my hand can be used to sweep and comb the energy centers of their body and the hand chakras, the energy centers in the palms of the hands were particularly important since they can take in and emit a lot of energy when they aren’t blocked. 

I’d move my palm in a counterclockwise stirring motion close to their palm to break up blockages and pull back a bit, and sort of gently grasp to pull out whatever was ready to come out. The grasp was about as if you were grasping soap suds in a kitchen sink or a bathtub. And when I pulled it away I’d release the grasp and flick my wrist to toss it away. I’d repeat this a few times and then move my palm in a clockwise stirring motion to stimulate the energy center and help it open up to draw in energy more easily.

When you become highly sensitive to subtle energy you’ll be able to feel the differences between clockwise and counter-clockwise motions of the energy in the chakras. When you move the energy of your hand against the motion of a chakra you’ll feel a slight resistance to your movement. When you change directions you’ll feel it move smoothly.  I wasn’t sensitive enough at this point to be able to do that, so I just pulled stuff out by going counter-clockwise and grasping gently and flicking it away, and stimulating and putting energy in by going clockwise. 

As I worked I continued to let the client know what I was doing, and the theory behind it. It was all spontaneous, none of it scripted so it varied a bit from person to person. 

After clearing the palm I’d focus on the fingers. I held up my hand, fingers splayed, and let them know that at the tips of the fingers there is an energy center with a narrow swirl of energy that comes out of it. It’s like the other, larger energy centers, but more tightly focused and not as energetic, but they can be used in more focused ways, like clearing blockages in the knuckles. 

I proceeded to very gently massage each finger, focusing on each knuckle one after another, and pulled anything that might be there out and flicked it away. Even if I didn’t feel anything I went through the motions because I knew I was still in the process of becoming more sensitive to the energy and couldn’t always detect when something might be there. I did my best to keep my motions fluid and natural. Nothing too dramatic since this was all rather weird anyway. 

The client must be as relaxed as possible. Energy doesn’t flow very well or very smoothly through tense muscles. I’d encourage them to let their hands go limp and release as much tension there as they could.

After combing and massaging the energy in the fingers and thumb I’d move to the wrist and I’d focus the energy from the tips of my four fingers my thumb into the wrist and gently stir it, intending to reach deep into the joint to gently break up any stagnant energy that may have accumulated, and then I’d pull it out and sweep through the hand one more time before moving to the other hand and repeating the process.

There were periods of silence while I put most of my attention on the work, but I’d softly resume talking if it felt like the silence was awkward or the client was withdrawing or drifting off. There were times when I’d notice the client had closed their eyes and had a definite sense of being distant and I’d ask them to open their eyes and follow along with me. I wanted them to be in the present moment as much as possible. 

I might mention that some schools of thought attribute specific colors to each chakra, and other schools may attribute patterns of colors to chakras, but I was not able to see colors or patterns to these things, but I could feel them.

After finishing with both hands I might work on the elbows, stirring and moving energy that may have become stagnant and lodged there. But my time was limited so I had to move quickly to the other two areas that I found most beneficial to work on, the feet.

I’d have them put a foot on my knee and I explained that the feet were much like the hands energetically, with a large energy center in the sole called the bubbling well in China, and the toes correspond to the fingers.

By this time the pace of the session would have increased and if the person was alert and had a strong aura it would be moving along quickly. The reason for this is the person’s attention and focus contribute greatly to the energy and the flow or movement of it. 

During one session I was quietly explaining what I was doing in a rambling manner while doing the work and I said, “You know how little mountain streams can get clogged with leaves and twigs and other things, and how the rain can come and wash them away?” The person nodded and I continued, “It’s like that, where your energy is the stream and my energy is the rain, and our energy together flushes the blockages out.” It felt right and I started telling this to others. It still feels right. 

After working on a foot I’d move a beam of energy between my hands and move it through their ankle and talk about creating a chi-ball that together with their help we’d send it up their leg to the hip, and back down again. This always got their interest and was somewhat exciting for both of us. 

Sometimes the chi-ball was strong and wooly with energy, sometimes not so much. But, by doing it the available energy would increase. I’d build up a ball of subtle energy in the area in and around their foot and count to three, and push the chi-ball up their calf, releasing it to them to direct it to their hip and back down in one fluid bounce and I’d catch it. I’d ask if they felt it and almost every time they responded with bright eyes, a nod, and a smile and I’d say let’s do it again. I’d build up the chi-ball, count to three again and repeat the process three times. 

I’d put their foot back on the floor and work the beam of energy between my palms through the knee above the foot I’d just worked on then focus on the other foot and repeat the process.

Next, I’d have the person stand up and turn sideways to me so I could beam energy between my palms through their hips, first one side then the other. I’d rotate the beam of energy clockwise and then counterclockwise. This was simply to break up any stagnant energy lodged there and to stimulate the channels of the energy. 

The work was not focused on muscles or bones or anything physical. Rather it was focused purely on the energy aspects of the body. The idea being there is an underlying pattern or blueprint that’s used to build and rebuild the physical components of the body. If the blueprints get damaged then the physical body will be challenged to repair itself. By focusing on the underlying subtle energy pattern of the body we can affect significant, even miraculous changes on the physical.

If time permitted I’d beam energy up and down the spine of the person and then focus on a particular issue they may have, but the allotted time usually ran out by then. 

I was very slow and deliberate with the first few sessions, and sped up a little but was no less deliberate with the later sessions.

Word of what I was doing and the immediate improvements people were experiencing prompted more people to line up, pushing me to work faster.

Something else I learned from those sessions was sometimes the issue that gets healed comes back. Two people, in particular, that I worked on the day of my coming out had acute symptoms that they’d dealt with for an extended length of time. The symptoms completely disappeared in a short session with me, but they returned within a couple of weeks. One of the people was a Quantum-Touch trainer, and the other had been a college football player. Both had excellent energy levels, and strong auras. I didn’t get a written testimonial from the football player, but this is what the QT Trainer had to say:

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“As a Quantum-Touch Trainer, I'm quite familiar with amazing healings. And yet, for about 3 years I had an uncomfortable condition on my lower abdomen that wasn't yielding to any treatment from myself or from others in the healing energy community. The "condition" was roughly bar-shaped, a couple inches long, about an inch wide and maybe a quarter-inch thick. 

It was more dense, and hotter than the surrounding tissue. It was also painful to the touch. After about 20 minutes of Steve’s healing work, it totally disappeared! It shifted and shrank and finally, it just vanished in a "puff". In that short time, I also learned ways to increase the flow of healing energy through my body which will help maintain my health and increase my ability to help others. One other thing, an energy block in my left leg showed up during the session and it too was cleared in a matter of a few moments. Energy work can be truly amazing at times. 

Thanks, Steve!” 

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It was maybe a month later when I saw her again, and she told me the issue on her lower abdomen had returned. I was a little disheartened, but it made me want to get better at this, to help in ways that created long-lasting positive effects, to get to the roots of these things and help pull them out and flick them away.

I’ve read and heard different reasons why symptoms won’t respond to energy healing, or why they may return, but when these things happen, I want to know what I can do to improve as a healer. I see it as an opportunity to grow. A friend once said: “It’s all about me for me, and it’s all about you for you, and it’s all about everyone else for everyone else.” I look for what pointers  the events hold for me on how I can improve.

Working on yourself can be difficult. Dissolving one’s ego can feel threatening, but it’s always more productive than trying to dissolve someone else’s ego or to build up your defenses. It’s much more  beneficial to focus on your own personal growth opportunities when they present themselves and not to find fault, or blame or reasons why in the other person.

One thing I was keenly aware of from the start of this journey into becoming a healer was the correlation between a person’s willingness to open up to the healing and a successful outcome. Being pleasant, warm, and inviting about the work is more important than having a lot of energy about you. It’s an honor when someone trusts enough to be open to my facilitating their healing. I’m a minor part of all this. A catalyst at best. But if a healing isn’t successful, or a malady returns, I want to know what I can do to improve my role as a catalyst for healing. 

After the healing fair, word got out about me doing this healing stuff and a few people eventually came to me for healing. There was no start of a magic carpet ride or the beginning of a fantastic career as a healer as a result of my participating in the healing fair. It was fun, I contributed to the community; and they provided an opportunity for my learning. Internally it was very exciting, but externally, the world yawned.

I was a serious student, but I had not had enough practice by a long shot. So I put up the rest of my trifold fliers along with a few cards at a local health food store and kept to my other affairs. 

I continued to practice Silk Reeling Qigong in my backyard where I had let swaths of grass go wild after seeing rabbits playing there. It was usually a peaceful place, and there were these stately trees back there that reached up to the clouds. Some of the trees were so impressive they could have had personalities.

One morning I was doing my moving meditations as qigong is sometimes called, and I saw these two young rabbits about fifty or sixty feet away poke their heads up above the tall grass in turns and look at me before ducking back down. First, one rabbit would poke his or her head up above the grass and look at me, then pull it back down, then the other would poke his or her head up and look at me, then pull it back down. I quietly continued my exercises, and they began doing backflips, first one, then the other as I continued my qigong. I imagined the young rabbits snickering and giggling about their antics the way small children play peek-a-boo. I’d never seen a rabbit do a backflip before that. I haven’t seen it since then either. Life was a bit surreal that morning, and quite enchanting. Very much like it was the morning of my coming out as a healer at the healing fair.

The swaths of tall grass, the trees, the birds and their nests, the clouds in the deep blue sky, and the rabbits and me were all in harmony in the backyard. Those two young rabbits were maybe six months old and endeared themselves to me with their antics. The woods in the back of the neighborhood had been taken over by a subdivision, so the room for rabbits and other wildlife was severely restricted. I found it easy to share space with them and spare swaths of grass from the mower.

I did what I could to make the area around the house a safe space for animals, and one Christmas Eve seven deer lay down in the front yard. Some neighbors had set out deer corn and a salt-lick and mounted a camera on a tree to capture their images, but the deer chose to lay down in our front yard. And it wasn’t just deer and rabbits that were showing up. For some unknown reason, wild animals kept coming around the house, and they didn’t seem very wild at all.

About a year after the rabbits were playing peek-a-boo and doing backflips a friend and I were standing and talking on the concrete slab near the basketball goal at the driveway where I would often do my qigong exercises and one of the rabbits, who was now quite large and not nearly as cute as a young bunny, came loping around the front corner of the house and headed slowly towards the backyard in plain sight, passing within fifteen feet of us. At first, my friend thought it was a cat, but then saw it was a wild rabbit, just as at home and welcome there as he and I were. My friend had this look on his face like he was in the Twilight Zone or something. The rabbit didn’t pay us any particular attention. It just loped forward, not hopping as you’d expect, and went about its business. It was a bit unreal, but by that time I was getting used to unreal.

~ S